Tag Archives: marriage

Keys to a Long and Satisfying Marriage

My husband and I celebrated our 41st wedding anniversary in October 2013. It seems as though the years have flown by and each year has added a deeper dimension to our relationship. So I thought I would share some of the keys (best practices and principles) for a successful marriage. These keys work for any relationship and I plan to expand on some of them in future posts. I don’t claim that this is an exhaustive list by any means, but there are principles and ideas that will provide you with wisdom in any relationship. More wisdom keys can be found in the Bible. Anyone who studies it diligently will find much more than I can possibly share here.

And it’s important to say that even though we know these keys and principles, we don’t necessarily always follow them. We’re still a work in progress just like everyone else. I hope that encourages you as you read through these.

So here is our list:

30 Keys to a Long and Satisfying Marriage
  1. Put God first – worship Him together
  2. Take time every day for the 6 minute prayer*
  3. Be quick to ask forgiveness
  4. Be quick to forgive (seventy times seven)
  5. Put the other’s interests above your own
  6. Be a servant spouse
  7. Be available
  8. Do not use sex as a weapon against your partner
  9. Spend time together – enjoying shared interests
  10. Have fun together!
  11. Desire the best for your partner even at your own expense
  12. Cultivate gratefulness toward your spouse (not taking them for granted)
  13. Let your spouse have the last word (let him/her think he/she’s right even when he/she isn’t)
  14. Don’t embarrass him/her in public or in front of your children
  15. Laugh with him/her, not at him/her
  16. Thank God for how He has used your spouse in your life
  17. Avoid the words, “always” and “never”
  18. Keep each others secrets
  19. Don’t keep secrets from each other
  20. Understand the difference between relational and topical communication*
  21. Do unto your spouse as you would have them do unto you (even if they don’t do the same)
  22. Make him/her feel important
  23. Be a good listener
  24. Swallow your pride and be the first one to say you’re sorry
  25. Edify him/her in front of everyone
  26. Make him/her believe they can do anything
  27. Trust God to change both you and your spouse because you can’t
  28. Be your spouse’s best cheerleader and supporter
  29. Take your marriage vows seriously – a covenant is serious
  30. Make sure that divorce is not part of your thinking or your vocabulary

In this day and age when anything goes and most people go by what “feels good” to them, it’s more important than ever to base our actions and decisions on solid principles that have stood the test of time. It’s my hope that as you read through these, you will realize that without the help of a personal God and Savior to help you, you will fail. But He is alive and well and able to meet you wherever you are and to help you no matter what your current circumstances may be.

My prayer is that you will experience a lifetime of loving that is more satisfying than you could ever imagine.
Don’t forget to add your comments. I welcome any suggestions, comments or questions.
Sharon Reece
214 701-8298
P.S. For books that can help you with your relationship, check out the Family Foundations bookstore.
P.P.S. If you would like to work with me on a project that will help you be successful in any type of business, check out this link.
*I’ll explain the 6 minute prayer and the difference between topical and relational communication in future posts.
Re-edited from my blog on Good Solutions for Health, Wealth and Wisdom, by Sharon Reece

How To Keep The Fire Burning After Years Of Marriage

Marriage is a long road that definitely has its ups and downs. A common issue in most marriages after many years is a loss of “spark.” The following are ways to keep your marriage strong for all the years that you and your partner are together:

Date Night
Making time for one another in a relationship, especially a marriage, is incredibly important. Everyday life is busy, as everyone knows. It can be difficult to make time for things, even when they’re things you want to do. The same is true when trying to make time for your partner. A good way to make time for one another is to plan an ongoing weekly date night. This can be anything that the two of you enjoy doing together. It can be the typical dinner and a movie date, or it can be something that is specific to your relationship and your hobbies. Whatever it is that you and your partner decide to do, the important thing is that you do it together. Spending this time is a great way to rekindle your love life.

Affection
In order to keep the love alive in your very special marriage, it is important that the affection still be present in the relationship. Even small forms of affection like a regular morning kiss or the addition of a little daily flirting will take your relationship to new heights. These small signs of love mean much more than the actual action itself. It means that the love is not gone. It means the attraction is not gone.

Kindness
To make your partner feel special, and therefore loved, it’s a good idea to participate in small acts of kindness that your partner will appreciate. It will make the person you love feel important to you. It will also show them that you care about their needs and desires. Feeling appreciated makes one feel closer to another person, and feeling closer to your partner is the first step toward keeping your love strong for as long as you are together.

Talk
It is important in a marriage to maintain active communication. This communication is not just limited to the big things in your and your partner’s lives. Knowing someone on a day-to-day level is important when truly trying to know a person. Not only will this daily conversation give you more insight into the life of your lover, but it will also make them feel as though you care about them in every aspect of their life.

Getaway
If the spark starts to subside, there are a multitude of ways to reignite, and some that can happen a little more quickly. One way to spark this fire quickly if you and your partner feel it starting to fade is a weekend away. This will give you one-on-one time with your partner to reconnect on a more intimate level. For many, a couple of days isn’t long enough to make any kind of impression, so if that’s the case, consider a long weekend or even a week somewhere secluded.

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Vanessa Alvarez writes all about relationships. Her recent work is on the Top Online Counseling Degree Programs.